WOMEN'S SOCCER UNWATCHABLE AFTER WORLD CUP

In the weeks following the extraordinary run the U.S. women's team had in Germany this Summer, they've been showered with unconditional love, greeted with confetti, and celebrated as if they had won the title.  All was well.  Then they returned to their club teams here in the states.  Needless to say, middle school track meets draw more of a crowd. 
"I don't get it," forward Abby Wambach tries explaining, "everybody I know couldn't take their eyes off of us just a few weeks ago.  Now?  Now my parents don't even give a shit about my games."  To be fair, when Wambach speaks of the American public not being able to "take their eyes off" them, she is of course referring to goalie Hope Solo.
Most people in professional soccer don't know what will happen with the girls league, mainly because most people watching professional soccer don't care that there is a girls league.  Case and point, the WNBA.


Team owners would, and have bet their mortgage's
hoping that seats like these will soon fill up.



Torn between not being able to use the fields during school hours and not bringing in enough money to supply electricity for night games, the soon-to-be defunct soccer league will be missed by few, if any.  Some look towards the lack of fan promotions, while others clearly see it as just a lack of fans.

"We just couldn't leave well enough alone, could we?"  Commissioner Amber Papsmearly wasn't the least bit surprised, continuing, "This country has a hard enough time watchin' men play this sport.  What the fuck were we thinkin'?"

In reference to fan promotions eluded to earlier, some stadium officials have mentioned a possible calendar spread with members of the national team.  But was quickly shot down when unable to figure out what would be done with the other 10 months.

In related news, Hope(fully) Solo hints at a possible nude photo shoot.