NEW TIGER WOODS VIDEO GAME HIGHLIGHTS RECENT STRUGGLES

Video game giant EA (Electronic Arts), has announced that they are currently in the works on the newest installment of their highly successful golfing empire.  That's right.  Without having reached 2012 yet, the Florida-based gaming company has already broken ground on Tiger Woods 2013.  Seems that Tiger and EA are in agreement that his superior skills on the game just aren't accurate anymore.


Tiger Woods watches how far
 left a simulated drive now goes.



"Used to be guaranteed that Tiger'd be on every leader board."  Game designer, Ross Ovarian claims in between glutenous gulps of Yoo-Hoo.  "Now, you gotta cross your fingers jus' to see if he'll make a fuckin' cut!" 

All involved felt it was in best to revamp.

First, you will be unable to use video game Tiger Woods more than once a month, due in part to the real Tiger Woods' inconsistent scheduling.  Second, when you do use the former #1, you may notice a rather large number of bad shots no matter the adjustments.  With that, you'll find a more detailed portrayal of Tiger as he takes virtual frustrations out on his 2-Iron.  And third, the putting has become all but impossible, mimicking a more authentic past 24 months for the ex-TMZ celeb.

No one is more pleased with the head start than the one time Buick poster boy.  More importantly, Woods doesn't mince words when he clarifies the long overdue retooling.

"Who am I kidding?  I probably should've done this before we released last years game."  When asked if this experience has humbled him, Tiger promptly points out, "I had to give my ex-[wife] a quarter of a billion dollars last year.  That was pretty fuckin' humbling."