PATERNO WANTS TO BE FORCED OUT ON HIS OWN TERMS



A confused Joe Paterno cheers
 at what he believes to be a late
night pep rally on his lawn. 

 Joe Paterno has decided to step down, due mostly in part with the board of trustees forcing the 84 year old's overdue retirement...  and only partly because he can't see or hear anybody.  Penn State officials wouldn't comment directly to this matter saying only that they "feel saddened" that the man whose 46 year head coaching tenure "will only be remembered just for trying to cover up a couple acts of child rape."
Recent allegations of sexual molestation involving former defensive coordinator Jerry Sandusky have shocked this campus all week, even though nobody seemed to bat an eye 11 years ago when a former janitor said he witnessed, basically the exact same incident.  The question now has turned to whether or not the hall of fame coach did enough once hearing of this matter 2 years ago.

Many feel the answer would be "no" considering the average person has to "tell him things 2 or 3 times before he actually retains it" and even then it "lasts only a few minutes, at best."

Even after his retirement announcement at the end of the season, the debate has now begun on if Joe should be able to coach this weekend against the visiting Cornhusker's.  A source close to the team couldn't say much, but did say, "Who gives a shit?  When was the last fuckin' time JoePa actually coached a game?"