WITHOUT TIGER WOODS, GOLF CHANNEL QUESTIONS EXISTANCE

In a shocking turn of events, the most controversial decision from golf --since it started to allow participants other than white males-- was announced today with great regret. 

"It saddens me to say, but with the inconsistency's of Tiger Woods's playing schedule, the PGA just doesn't see the purpose of having an entire network devoted to a sport that no one even knows is on unless Mr. Woods is playing."  Dugen Pheffer, a USGA executive, confessed this awkwardly tearful message at a press conference today.  

Even most of the governing officials
 couldn't say what number The Golf
Channel was on their cable providers.

None of this should come as a surprise to anyone, though.  Ratings for tournaments not including Tiger, only wish they could have even PBS after hours numbers.  Which would explain why over half of the days programming is infomercials, and now, rarely ever golf related. 

The Golf Channel did try and hang on as long as they could with reality based shot-challenging shows, but in the end, those too weren't even enough to barely keep the contestants attention.

The truly heart breaking news has to be for the many on the amateur circuit.  When Mr. Dugen was asked what he thought this meant for the Nationwide Tour, he paused his, what could only be described as fake choking up and replied, "The fuck is the Nationwide Tour?"