Monday, January 7, 2013

CHIP KELLY TURNS DOWN BROWNS; CHOOSES NOT TO RUIN CAREER

After interviewing for the vacant head coaching position with Cleveland following his impressive Fiesta Bowl victory, Oregon Ducks head man decides that he's going to stay in Eugene.  Chip Kelly and his ego were probably so excited to entertain the idea of coaching at the next level, that they didn't even notice until it was too late that the team showing interest were the embarrassing Browns.
Chip Kelly is relieved that he
 avoided what would have been the
 worst move of his coaching career.
"I didn't even realize where I was." Kelly said, referring to the lack of knowledge as to his whereabouts. 
"It wasn't until I shook his [Jimmy Haslam's] hand and saw all the dog pound memorabilia plastered everywhere that it actually hit me!" Chip continued about being first introduced to the Browns new owner.  "Holy shit!  This is to coach Cleveland?!"
Most people in the Browns front office were just as bewildered that Kelly had even accepted the invite to come out.  Some had even joked that his handlers must have been keeping him in the dark about his travel arrangements, which would definitely coincide with the coach not having a clue as to his immediate surroundings.
A press release from Cleveland spokesperson Warren Chubbley had this to say:  "Ultimately we're discouraged with the decision coach Kelly has made.  Not only because we feel that our unmatched, loyal fan base would've been pleased with his hiring, but more importantly, because we undoubtedly know that we will absolutely frustrate those same dedicated fans with the inevitable, horrible signing of some guy that no one, including us, will have ever heard of."
On a related note, the Browns are currently in talks with a former CFL assistant.

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